Do You Feel Anxious About Your Purpose in Life?

When you think about having purpose in the third third of life, what do you feel? Excitement? Gratitude? Conviction? Overwhelm? Hope? Or, perhaps, anxiety?

The relationship between life purpose and anxiety is a curious one. On the one hand, a study published in 2023 found that “greater purpose in life was significantly associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety.” Similarly, in 2024 a team of researchers concluded,

“Sense of purpose was negatively associated with anxiety. . . . When they feel anxious, people with a higher sense of purpose were more likely to find a silver lining, focus on the big picture, and remember that the stressor will not last.”

So, given these studies, it would seem that when you think about having purpose in life, you’d surely not feel anxious. If anything, your level of anxiety should go down. Right?

That’s right in some instances, to be sure. People who have a clear sense of purpose in life feel a range of positive emotions while tending to avoid anxiety or depression. However, that’s not necessarily true when we’re searching for our purpose in life.

Purpose Anxiety

Larissa Rainey, in her master’s thesis at the University of Pennsylvania, reported on her survey of people who were trying to find their purpose. Through her research, she identified a common experience she called “purpose anxiety.” She explains:

“Purpose anxiety can provisionally be defined as the negative emotions experienced in direct relation to the search for purpose – experienced either while struggling to find or struggling to enact one’s purpose in life.”

Among those Rainey surveyed, 91% of respondents answered this question affirmatively, “Have you experienced negative emotions (stress, anxiety, fear, frustration, sadness, worry, anger, etc.) while searching for or living out your purpose?” Thus, Rainey concludes that “purpose anxiety is an extremely prevalent experience in contemporary American society.”

Yet, surprisingly enough, over half of respondents experienced positive emotions in addition to negative ones while searching for their purpose. Thus, Rainey observes,

“[T]he search for purpose in life is not only psychologically distressing (as so many psychologists hypothesized it to be), but also emotionally uplifting. It indicates that purpose, either living it out or searching for it, is not only emotionally draining, but also emotionally rewarding.”

So, though we may feel anxious as we seek our purpose, we may also feel hopeful and excited.

Though purpose anxiety was prevalent among younger adults (ages 18-30), Rainey suggested that “individuals in transition fall victim to this state most often—adolescents, emerging adults, ‘empty-nesters,’ and retirees, for example.”

This is consistent with what I have heard in many conversations with third third folk. As they leave behind the clarity they once had about their life’s purpose, often focused on work and family, they often feel anxious. They are worried about their new and unfamiliar experience of purposelessness. They wonder if they will ever know their purpose as they get older. They are eager to discover a new reason to get up in the morning but fret that such a reason may not be found.

As [third thirders] leave behind the clarity they once had about their life’s purpose, often focused on work and family, they often feel anxious.”

We experience purpose anxiety because purpose in life matters a great deal to us. Rainey, for example, found that 97% of participants agreed or strongly agreed with the statement, “For me, it is important that I live a purposeful life.” Moreover, “nearly half of participants said they think about their purpose at least 2-3 times a week.”

Having purpose in life is a wonderful thing. 98% of respondents to Rainey’s survey “reported that they experienced positive emotions in relation to their purpose in life.” Yet seeking that positive purpose can be stressful. As Rainey comments,

“Yes, the search for purpose is ultimately a beneficial journey, but psychologists must recognize that it can be an arduous process at any stage of life—one that can take a significant psychological toll on the young and the old alike.”

I find Rainey’s research to be fascinating and relevant. What she has documented fits with what I have experienced, not only in my own life, but also in the lives of dozens and dozens of older adults whom I know through my third third work. As I have coached people through the transitions that are typical for folks my age, I have often heard about the anxiety people feel in their new season of purposelessness.

If You Feel Anxious About Your Purpose, You Are Not Alone

If you are currently feeling purpose anxiety, you’re not alone. Know that this is common and part of the process of clarifying your purpose for the third third of life. Know also that most people do not remain mired in the doldrums of purposelessness. They can feel as if they are stuck forever, but this is rarely the case.

What will help you clarify your third third purpose, thus reducing the anxiety you might feel? I’ve had a lot to say about this in the past couple of years. You may want to check out my eleven suggestions in the Clarifying Your Purpose in the Third Third of Life series.

Larissa Rainey offers several “Potential Remedies for Purpose Anxiety.” She observes that “many participants noted the importance of curiosity, exploration, and self-acceptance in finding their purpose.” This fits with the work of Todd Kashdan and Patrick McKnight from George Mason University. They emphasize the importance of curiosity when it comes to forming our purpose in life:

“A purpose may be difficult to form and may only come from an effortful and gradual development process. Thus, purpose may come from a deliberate searching and refining process that we term proactive. For this process to unfold, we expect that a person must possess a curious nature for the intentional pursuit of meaningful and rewarding behaviors. The proactive development process is characterized by the formation of interests (Silvia, 2001) through curious exploration. “

When it comes to discovering our purpose in life, we would do well to abide by the advice of television’s Ted Lasso: “Be curious; not judgmental.”

Where Can Our Purpose Be Found?

Speaking of being curious, I did wonder about a peculiar tension between an aspect of Rainey’s advice and something she discovered through her research. In her section on remedies for purpose anxiety, she writes that “purpose is not somewhere out in the world waiting to be found, but rather, something that is already present inside a person.”

Rainey would encourage us to find our purpose within ourselves. Yet, in an earlier section of her paper, she noted that “the majority of individuals who identified themselves as Christian had found their purpose in life” (p. 61). Perhaps some of these folks identified their purpose as something that “already exists within them.” But I expect that most Christians would say their purpose exists first and foremost in God, not in themselves. They find their purpose through their relationship with God and God’s people.

So, for example, according to Romans 8:28, “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” God’s purpose for us comes as God summons us to participate in the good work of God. Similarly, in Ephesians 1:11 we have been “destined according to the purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to his counsel and will.” God’s purpose for all things leads to God’s guidance for our lives. We find our purpose by seeking God, not by focusing on ourselves.

God’s purpose for us comes as God summons us to participate in the good work of God.

God’s Purpose and Our Anxiety

Now, of course, it’s possible for Christians to feel anxiety if we are uncertain about God’s purpose for our lives. I’ve certainly found myself in this situation at various times. But when I am anxious over my purpose and calling, I am reassured by divine promises found in Scripture. For example, 1 Peter 5: 7 urges, “Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.” The more we are convinced that God truly cares for us, the less we will worry when we aren’t sure about our purpose.

Similarly, in Paul’s letter to the Philippians we read,

“Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6-7).”

As God’s peace guards our hearts, not only will we feel less anxiety, but also we’ll find ourselves in an ideal frame of mind to clarify our purpose in life, a purpose that emerges, not from our anxious hearts but from God who is all-wise, all-knowing, and all-loving.