New Beginnings

Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be. Job 8:7

I know you are reading this in October. I also know that seldom do we talk about “new beginnings” in October. That conversation is traditionally held in January as we make New Year’s Resolutions. However, I invite you to walk with me as I make the case for contemplating what beginning again looks like as we enter the last quarter of the year. Actually, it is not the calendar driving this conversation, but the circumstance.

I have spent the last decade leading workshops and writing articles for and about people in their bonus years (people 60 and over) who are in transition—retirement, relationship or health changes, career—and want to connect more meaningfully with their purpose and creative vitality. I have had the privilege of listening to stories of how changes and life transitions have affected their lives. Consequently, at this ten-year mark, I began processing not only what I have heard, but also what I have felt.

I had a milestone birthday last month and decided I no longer want to be a mental health counselor. My doctorate is in religion and psychology. Over the past twenty-five years, I have been in private practice, worked for a mental health agency, and been a member of a counseling practice. Despite all of these years in mental health, I feel relieved to have come to that decision. I want a change. However, I have no idea of what or who I am becoming. So, I feel unmoored, which is a new feeling for me. But, I am convinced transitions are helped by a process or ritual that brings meaning and order to the past and makes room to cast a new vision for the future.

But, I am convinced transitions are helped by a process or ritual that brings meaning and order to the past and makes room to cast a new vision for the future.

A New Thing

At the United Methodist Church where I was a member, I remember singing the hymn “This Is a Day of New Beginnings” during Communion. The hymn opens with the phrase: This is a day of new beginnings, time to remember, and move on. It’s been many years since I was a member of that church and sat in the sanctuary filled with familiar faces. It is the church where I began again when we moved to Nashville so I could begin a new job and continue seminary at a new school.

So, that song had particular meaning for me the first time I heard it and now more than two decades later, I am still moved by the thought that a new beginning means leaving some things behind and moving into (and embracing) the new. And, if we are to live faithfully, we believe that God is committed to our beginning again. Isaiah 43:19 proclaims joyously “I [God] am about to do a new thing.”

This is not to say that endings, beginning again, and moving forward are easy. A clear example of a life transition that requires one relationship to end and another to begin is retirement. The idea of retirement is filled with an array of emotions, which at best, are balanced by purposeful planning. I tend towards the wild array of emotions, so I hope in this article I can provide a process for thinking about retirement that will limit some of the anxious emotions and increase the emotions of joy and anticipation.

Transitions Happen

Retiring, despite our best efforts, may cause us to endure painful transitions that may require a lifetime of healing. WebMD states, “Even for people who choose to retire, saying goodbye to their career doesn’t always bring happiness. Some feel anxious and saddened by the loss of routine and direction in their lives. Almost 1 in 3 retirees say they feel depressed—a rate higher than that of the adult population overall.” Retirement affects relationships, finances, identity, and sense of purpose. Any one of these is a lot to consider, but to be faced with these huge life decisions all at one time is not easy.

Though I may focus on people in their bonus years, transitions are a part of our lives at any age or stage. My seven-year-old granddaughter just began second grade at a new school. She had been with the same classmates and school since pre-K and now is having to make a huge change and begin again. Also, three of my nieces, ranging in age from 20 to 50, have changed jobs. One, in her twenties, moved across the country for a job, which ended after only a year. Transitions. Happen. However, we hope that when we move forward there are fond memories to accompany us as we begin again. More importantly, we are reminded in all things that God is present in our situation and offers the promise of hope and transformation as a result of our changes.

More importantly, we are reminded in all things that God is present in our situation and offers the promise of hope and transformation as a result of our changes.

Now, in this month of October, as you enjoy the change in season, it is also a perfect season to reflect on “what’s next” as you unpack the complexity of transitions. I encourage you to stop for a moment, breathe, and think about how transitions offer both an occasion to celebrate what God will begin in your life as well as to grieve what is left behind.

The Flourishing in Transition Ritual

I’d like to offer a simple ritual for you to think through the emotions and thoughts that arise when life is in transition, including retirement. This Flourishing in Transition (FIT) ritual I will describe will give you a spiritual practice you can use for clarity during transitions over and over again.

This Flourishing in Transition ritual is reimagined from the pastoral circle used in social justice communities. The circle has four “moments”: experience, social analysis, theological reflection, and action. Together they offer the opportunity to learn how the social issue is experienced by those impacted, how it fits into the larger culture, how Scripture speaks to this issue, and what collective action needs to be taken to bring justice to the issue.

Flourishing in Transition also uses four moments, but has a different focus. FIT is created to uncover the feelings and thoughts associated with retirement (or any significant transition), explore supportive environments, listen for God’s guidance in the transition, and consider what actions can move you forward. My good friend, Rev. Dr. Stephanie Thompson, was willing to use her personal experience to show how the FIT ritual works. These are her responses to the questions for each moment:

Flourishing in Transition (FIT) Ritual

Experience—What meaningful experience/s have you gained from this transition. How has your retirement impacted your life? What feelings do you have about what was left behind?

• Living in liminality, that space between what was and what is yet to be, is a deeply disorienting experience when you have been engaged in doing work that resonates in your spirit, “I was born to do this.” During a six-year period, I launched and managed a project that enabled me to freely exercise my administrative, creative, and leadership skills while developing and offering services to low-income families. When the funding ended, so did my position and doing work that I loved. It was then that I discovered transitions are spaces where we are invited to rediscover ourselves and uncover untapped passions as we yield to the next evolution of our purpose.

Body, Mind, Spirit Support—Who in your community can you/have you turned to for support? Where are the spaces that allow you to try out a new identity? How are you supporting yourself with self-care?

• Steadfast friends who accompany my journey towards greater faithfulness in using the gifts and talents are lifelines who “speak life” into my shrinking spirit when desired opportunities aren’t readily apparent. During seasons of transition, it becomes vitally important that we also relearn to stretch ourselves and expand our connections to others. Life has been designed with connectivity to others as a built-in requirement for thriving throughout our life span.

Listening for God—Where is God as you think about and go through this transition? How does your faith influence your next steps and your hope for the future?

• Remaining resolute in the belief that “God is with me and for me” can be challenging. There are days when being ‘steadfast, unmovable, and always abounding in trusting God enlivens me, and days when sitting outside listening to the sounds of nature and cloud-watching is all that I can do. When I read inspirational literature and return to old editions of my gratitude journals and see recorded in those pages reminders of God’s history with me, my soul becomes resurrected and I hear “this is the way, keep walking the path you’re on.”

Action—What are your next steps? Who can help you as you move from one stage of life to the next? What do you need to take the next step?

• I will practice daily stillness to discern God’s direction for “what’s next.”
• I will seek to continue stretching beyond well-established self-imposed limits.
• I will continue to challenge myself to engage in activities that place me in spaces where I meet new people.
• I will continue cultivating the courage to ask others for assistance where it is needed.

These are the four moments for you to begin a FIT ritual that will allow you to assess, evaluate, revise, or create a vision for how you’d like to move forward. Also, through this ritual you will have the space to grieve the loss of what you’re leaving behind. Even in October you can take steps to begin again just as you remember (and celebrate) what you have left behind.

To view the exercise on its own, click here.