Purpose and Your Relationship with God, Part 1

For the past several months I have been developing a new course for the De Pree Center: Purpose in the Third Third of Life. This is a companion to another of our courses: Flourishing in the Third Third of Life. These courses are not for Fuller students. Rather, they are for anyone who wishes to live fully, fruitfully, and faithfully in the third third of life.

I have been working on the issue of purpose in older adulthood for the past five years. I’ve read hundreds (literally) of academic articles and dozens of relevant books. I’ve studied Scripture carefully so that I could be clear on how purpose in life is shaped by our Christian faith. I’ve written several articles on this subject and spoken on purpose in the third third of life at least a dozen times in churches, retreats, conferences, and senior living communities.

Recently, the De Pree Center gathered a group of fifteen people for a pilot Purpose in the Third Third of Life course. Through teaching this course, I was able to see what worked, what didn’t work, and what worked but could be improved. I was also able to listen to those in the course talk about their purpose in the third third of life. I learned a lot from them!

Much of what I heard affirmed the emphases of the course I have developed. But something stood out to me as worthy of additional attention. In my first iteration of the course, several times I mentioned the importance of our relationship with God as we seek to clarify and live our third third purpose. But, as I heard from folks who finished the class, I was struck by just how much they were eager to grow in their relationship with God in this season of their life. Knowing God better was a crucial element of their third third purpose.

But, as I heard from folks who finished the class, I was struck by just how much they were eager to grow in their relationship with God in this season of their life.

The people in my class were mature Christians. But many shared that they have often let the busyness of life keep them from a deeper relationship with God. Others confessed that they had not engaged as faithfully as they would have wished in spiritual practices that helped them know God better. A couple of pastors mentioned looking forward to relating to God apart from their professional obligations. I was impressed by how many of the learners in my course were genuinely eager to make their relationship with God a top priority in this season of life.

Scripture and Our Desire for a Deeper Relationship with God

There are many reasons why older adults desire to have a deeper, more intimate, and more authentic relationship with God. These include:

• Freedom in retirement from the demands of salaried work.
• Recognition that we have only so much time left in this life.
• The desire to focus on what matters most in life.
• A tendency to become more reflective as we age.
• Struggling with the inevitable losses that come as we get older.
• Feeling more vulnerable, no longer “invincible,” thus needing God.
• Fearful of what might happen as we get older.
• Wanting to prepare for the “fourth third of life,” that is, for heaven.

In many places, Scripture addresses these very motivations, what my colleague Scott Cormode calls “the longings and losses of life.” Consider, for example, God’s promise to Israel through Isaiah:

Listen to me, O house of Jacob,
all the remnant of the house of Israel,
who have been borne by me from your birth,
carried from the womb;
even to your old age I am he,
even when you turn gray I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
I will carry and will save (Isa 46:3-4).

The promise of being carried in “old age” with “gray” hair touches our hearts. We long to be carried by God in this season of life and to experience God’s promised salvation, partially now and fully in the life to come.

Psalm 92 offers a stirring promise of flourishing “in old age”:

The righteous flourish like the palm tree,
and grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
They are planted in the house of the LORD;
they flourish in the courts of our God.
In old age they still produce fruit;
they are always green and full of sap,
showing that the LORD is upright;
he is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in him (Ps 92:12-15).

Notice what enables us to be fruitful as we get older. This happens when we are “planted in the house of the LORD” (92:13). We might say that a deeper relationship with God is a matter of our roots growing deeply into the soil of God’s love and grace. Jesus used another agricultural metaphor to make a similar point, “Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). We will know God more deeply and live more fruitfully when we abide in Christ as a branch abides in a vine. Our relationship with God through Christ is vital for third third flourishing.

We will know God more deeply and live more fruitfully when we abide in Christ as a branch abides in a vine.

Psalm 91 makes a similar connection between abiding in God and getting older:

You who live in the shelter of the Most High,
who abide in the shadow of the Almighty,
will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress;
my God, in whom I trust.” . . .

Those who love me, I will deliver;
I will protect those who know my name.
When they call to me, I will answer them;
I will be with them in trouble,
I will rescue them and honor them.
With long life I will satisfy them,
and show them my salvation (Ps 91:1-2, 14-16).

As we age, we yearn more fervently to “abide in the shadow of the Almighty.” When we struggle with losses and feel more vulnerable, we long to know the Lord as “my refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.” We want to know that we are safe in God’s loving strength and care no matter what happens in this season of life. When we experience God in this way, God is with us in our troubles. Ironically, our troubles have a way of opening our hearts to more of God’s grace. Also, we experience the satisfaction that comes with a long life, and we are ready for the salvation yet to come.

Ironically, our troubles have a way of opening our hearts to more of God’s grace.

Thus, in the third third of life, a crucial facet of our purpose has to do with our relationship with God. The Scripture passages quoted above invite us:

• To be carried by God.
• To have our roots grow deeply into God.
• To be protected under God’s shelter.
• To be safe in God.
• To trust God more completely.
• To abide in God.
• To call upon God.
• To experience God’s presence in our troubles.
• To be satisfied with the long life God has given us.
• And to experience in part the salvation of the future.

Interim Conclusion

The second part of this article on “Purpose and Your Relationship with God” will be published next month. In that piece, I’ll suggest several practices which, I believe, can help us develop a deeper relationship with God as we grow older.

But if you don’t want to wait a month to think more about this, let me refer you to a marvelous book by one of our regular third third authors, Alice Fryling. Her book, Aging Faithfully: The Holy Invitation of Growing Older is filled with wisdom as well as descriptions of practices you might wish to adopt. I have read this book twice, with great personal benefit. I commend it highly. You might also check out a webinar I did with Alice on her book.

Finally, I encourage you to reflect on your relationship with God in this season of life. The following questions might be helpful:

• Do you share with my students a strong desire to know God more intimately?
• Would you say that growing in God is an essential facet of your third third purpose? If so, why? If not, why not?
• Plus, in anticipation of next month’s article with its practical suggestions, what might help you know God more intimately in the third third of life?