Rewriting the Retirement Narrative: Interview with Gary Dewhirst

What do you imagine when you think of a retirement community? Does it include a woodworking shop to make toys for kids in need? An intergenerational daycare center? What about skydiving outings?

For residents at Warm Beach Senior Community these aren’t just ideas, they are realities. That’s because for CEO Gary Dewhirst, the common narratives around the third third of life don’t apply. The community Gary is leading and cultivating is one that ignores conventional labels of retirement and instead encourages third thirders to see the last chapter of their lives as filled with purpose, belonging, and a lot of fun.

Read more about the amazing, narrative-shifting work Gary is doing in the lives of his residents, proving that purpose has no age limit.

Where do you work? How did you get started working with third thirders?

I’m the CEO at Warm Beach Senior Community in Stanwood, Washington. We are a large retirement community that’s faith-based and not-for-profit. We were founded by the Free Methodist Church back in the 60s to establish a retirement opportunity for retired missionaries, pastors, and Christian lay people who really didn’t have an opportunity to build up a huge nest egg but who deserved to have a quality retirement opportunity.

Over the years, we took on a healthcare component, including assisted living and memory care. But our prime motivation is to take care of people when they’re ready to retire, but also to look at what that means more deeply. What does retirement mean? It’s not just finding a place for people to putter in the garden or have a potluck or such. We’re constantly pushing and trying to reinvent what retirement means for our people. Life doesn’t just stop because they’re “retired.” We wonder what things drive them? What are their own personal missions and goals? And how do we give them an opportunity to live that out in a retirement setting?

What does retirement mean? It’s not just finding a place for people to putter in the garden or have a potluck or such. We’re constantly pushing and trying to reinvent what retirement means for our people. Life doesn’t just stop because they’re “retired.” We wonder what things drive them? What are their own personal missions and goals? And how do we give them an opportunity to live that out in a retirement setting?

As for how I got into this line of work, I don’t know that anybody gets into senior living really realizing what it’s all about. Some people get into it from a business standpoint. They’ll get their masters in public health or in public healthcare administration and go into what you could call the business of aging. Which is important because this is the fastest growing cohort age—the baby boomers.

But then there’s the business of people. There are numerous retirement and aging adult services available throughout the country. They’re everywhere. But what I really found in myself was that I had a connection with the senior population. This probably came from the relationship I had with my grandfather. We had a very strong relationship. I got to watch him walk out his faith. And in his later years, and then with his passing, I got to watch him do that with integrity.

What makes Warm Beach Senior Community unique?

I’ve been in this field for 35–36-ish years, and one of the things that really separates our community from any other thing I’ve done is how we attempt, to the best of our ability, to really walk out our faith. A lot of communities will say that they’re a faith-based community, and I’m sure they mean that. But being faith-based really is our prime motive here. It’s not like everything we do here is a Bible study or done from a Christian perspective, but we keep in mind what our focus is. We ask, “Is what we’re doing pleasing to Christ. Are we bringing other people with us along the way? How do we continue to build our people up?”

It’s not like everything we do here is a Bible study or done from a Christian perspective, but we keep in mind what our focus is. We ask, “Is what we’re doing pleasing to Christ. Are we bringing other people with us along the way? How do we continue to build our people up?”

Also, our residents truly love and take care of each other. They look out for each other’s interests, they laugh when each other laughs, and they hurt when each other hurts. Here, there is a culture of caring that’s genuine. It’s just not a label. We don’t hit it every time, but that’s certainly our goal.

And, we have lots of fun—we do a lot of outrageously fun things. One of the things we’ve done a couple of times is we’ve taken a group of residents skydiving. I had a resident who had dementia who was absolutely adamant that he wanted to go skydiving. His wife supported that desire, and he was the first one out of the plane. As I was following him down, I’ve never seen anybody with a bigger smile on their face than this man. And when he got down on the tarmac, there were rousing cheers. It was a moment that made everybody cry, because he was so proud of what he had done. Whether or not he was going to remember that down the road, who could say. But for that moment, it was really special for him.

What are some of the false narratives around retirement and the third third of life you’ve encountered?

I think society tells people my age and older that they can’t or shouldn’t do certain things anymore. And it’s almost like a pat on the head sort of philosophy, like, “You’ve had a great life. Look at all the great things that you’ve done!”

But they forget all the great things that they can still do. This world is hurting for direction, leaders, and people with character. And they’re looking for it everywhere—in social media or in their political leaders, or whatever. But sometimes they overlook the person that’s next to them. Scripture tells us that every part of the body is different, and we need to recognize people’s strengths, despite their age. It’s not about the years, but what somebody is able to offer the person next to them.

Unfortunately, I see a lot of mainstream evangelical churches right now reinforcing a misperception that all of our attention should be directed at youth. Not that the youth isn’t important—it certainly is. But focusing on the youth at the expense of the population that actually can pour into that youth is missing the boat. There’s much more to be lived by a group that has gone through things, has persevered, and still maintains their faith. I have seen churches address age well, but the norm seems to be that if you’re a certain age, you’re relegated to “senior ministry.” To having a Senior Bible study, or a senior potluck. It shouldn’t be “senior ministry.” It should just be ministry.

One more way we are combating the false narratives is by starting a daycare in the next year. I know that there are other intergenerational daycares out there, and I think that’s wonderful. But to my knowledge, we’re going to be the first (or only) one that is actually set up to be a faith-based, intergenerational, intentional program. And I’m really excited about that opportunity. Not just for our residents, though I think it’s huge for our residents to be able to participate like that. But also for the kids at that young an age to be exposed to love and compassion. Some kids don’t have grandparents or local grandparents. I’m super excited that God has made this opportunity available.

What advice would you give to leaders who sense that the narratives surrounding their work are broken and not in alignment with the kingdom?

Go back to the basics. First things first. I know that everybody in this economy and in this world is challenged by the tyranny of the urgent of what they need to do. But, first things first: Are you taking care of the person next to you? What is the right thing to do? Do that, even if it’s really hard. And look for opportunities to do that for the person next to you.

Everybody is hurting. Everybody has their hard things. And so, ask yourself how you can make a difference in the life of one person today instead of looking down the road to what report you have to write.

Warm Beach Senior Community was awarded the “Great Place to Work” certification. Can you explain how your faith has shaped the culture you’ve created and how you care for those you lead?

We actually just got recertified for Great Place to Work! If you don’t know how it works, you send out surveys to your staff, and you need a certain percentage of participation to be able to qualify. It’s all anonymous, so you don’t know how people are going to answer.

But the answers we got back were what I was truly excited about. 100% of my staff who participated answered that they felt like their work made a difference, and that they were positively impacting the lives of the people they worked with. Those are the things that I can’t do for them—they feel that way about the people they get to work alongside and work for. That was very humbling to see.

Although we are an overtly faith-based community, there is no requirement to sign a statement of faith to live here or work here. But we do make sure that when people come to live or work, they understand our history and what we stand for. So, if we hire them to work here or if they come to live here, it’s with the knowledge that it’s very likely you’re going to have one of my residents grab you by the hand and want to pray with you. And that needs to be okay.

Being faith-based also means I have the freedom to be able to pray with my managers during meetings. I have the freedom to say “Do it!” when staff come and say they want to start a Bible study. I’ve recently had some staff and residents who have come to know Christ who weren’t Christians when they came here.

So, if you’re going to break it down to the biggest common denominator for why Warm Beach is a great place to work, it would be that we live here as a family and that our biggest goal is to bring more people to Jesus.

Our theme for this quarter is purpose. As a Christian, how do you understand the concept of purpose? How does it shape the ways you lead Warm Beach Senior Community?

Our purpose is pretty simple: the great commission. How do we bring more people to Christ? And then, how do we care for each other? Everybody has their own gifts and ways for how they do that. So, how do you use your gifts to bring people to Christ and to take care of others?

And we do a lot of things with our residents to help them understand they have purpose. We have educational opportunities through what we call Warm Beach University. Everything from Bible history courses to having somebody from the local fire department educate them on life-saving techniques, to self-defense courses. We try to find out what would be of interest to them or what they’re concerned about, and then we bring that in.There are no limits to what we’ll explore.

We also want them to get excited about things that they didn’t know about and experience things that they never had a chance to do when they were younger. We do outings on a regular basis, but when we go out, whether it’s going to a restaurant or going on a tour of the Amazon plant, we are very intentional when we’re there. We ask, “How can we make a difference while we’re here?” I’ve got residents who will pick out people and circle up in the parking lot to pray for them. No matter what condition my residents are in from a physical standpoint, the number one thing they know is that they can be in prayer for people.

No matter what condition my residents are in from a physical standpoint, the number one thing they know is that they can be in prayer for people.

We also have a few programs they participate in. One is called Prayer for All the Nations. We have a big, large world map on the wall, and the goal is to have every country in the world being prayed for by somebody. So everybody can adopt a country and pray. Another program is Operation Christmas Child. We do this year-round. This is something that our residents can do right here. They can go to the wood shop and make cars, or some of the ladies make dresses. One of our wonderful residents who is legally blind made over 100 dresses in a year! We also correspond with some of the kids in Madagascar who had gotten some of our boxes. We keep our residents understanding and living out their purpose.