When the Bottom Falls Out: The Sacred Path to Flourishing

There are moments in leadership when it feels like the bottom falls out, when a project collapses, a decision backfires, or a relationship fractures. These are not the stories we tell in keynote speeches or highlight reels. They are the quiet, aching chapters that often remain unspoken. But failure and disappointment are not detours from the path of faithful leadership; they are part of the road itself. A road that shapes the depth and resilience of true flourishing.

Vocational Disappointment as Invitation

Scripture is not shy about failure. Moses struck the rock in disobedience. Peter denied Jesus three times. Paul’s letters often echo with the pain of setbacks and disappointments. Yet in each case, failure becomes fertile ground for deeper dependence on God, renewed vision, and transformational growth.

Failure, in the biblical imagination, is not the opposite of calling. It is the crucible in which calling is refined. As Henri Nouwen reminds us, we are called not just to be effective leaders, but wounded healers who can lead out of our own brokenness, not despite it.

Failure, in the biblical imagination, is not the opposite of calling. It is the crucible in which calling is refined.

Disappointment arrives as silence, as severance, as shame. But what if vocational disappointment is also a threshold? A soft whisper from the Spirit: You are not the sum of your outcomes. You are the work of My hands.

Disappointment forces us to confront the fragility of both these truths. It peels away the layers of performance and image, asking us, Who are you when the job title is gone? What do you believe when your best idea fails? Can you still say yes to God when the outcomes don’t affirm your competence? And if disappointment is an invitation, then grief is often its companion, a sacred space where God meets us in the aftermath and begins the quiet work of renewal.

Practices for Flourishing Amid Loss

Grief is not something to get over. Instead, it’s something to live through with intention. These practices offer a way to move honestly, reflectively, and faithfully through the pain of loss. Grounded in Scripture, they invite us to lament, reflect, reconnect, and resist the pressure to rush past our healing. This is often the period where the future roots of flourishing are being cultivated.

1. Lament honestly – Scripture teaches us to lament, not to gloss over our grief. Lament is not weakness. It is spiritual resistance. It names the pain without losing sight of God.
   Lamentations 3:19-24 – “I remember my affliction and my wandering… Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed…”
2. Reflect – Invite God into the post-mortem. Ask, What is being formed in me through this? What illusions are being stripped away? Where is grace showing up in the rubble?
   Psalm 139:23-24 – “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.”
3. Return to community – Failure isolates. But healing happens in community. Share the story with people who can hold it without fixing it, who see your failure and still see you.                                                                                                                                        Galatians 6:2 – “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
4. Resist the rush to rebuild – Sometimes, we want to prove our worth by moving on too quickly. But there is holy wisdom in waiting. As Eugene Peterson said, “The waiting is not just something we have to do until we get what we want. Waiting is part of the process of becoming who God wants us to be.”

A Different Kind of Leadership Formation

At Fuller and the De Pree Center, we strive to form leaders who can hold tension, speak truthfully, and remain faithful even when outcomes fall short. We create space for leaders to understand that resurrection often follows loss, and that Christ often meets us not in our strength, but in our weakness. Disappointment isn’t a sign you’re off course; it’s an invitation to lead from a deeper place. So, when the bottom falls out, it’s not the end. It’s just offering the ingredients needed for you to truly flourish.