Paying Attention in Community

Scripture — Proverbs 15:22 (NRSV)

Without counsel, plans go wrong,
but with many advisers they succeed.

Devotion

I’ve read at least a dozen books on finding your purpose in life and at least 100 articles on this theme. I’ve learned a lot from these sources and am grateful for their wisdom. But, often, the conversation about finding purpose in life assumes that the finders are solitary individuals and that we need to discover our purpose on our own, by looking into our own souls. Without denying the importance of personal reflection and introspection, I believe that we will receive, clarify, craft, and live our purpose best in community, in relationship with those who know us well and can help us discern and live our purpose.

This can happen in different contexts, over family meals or in regular small group meetings. It can happen in pastoral counseling or spiritual direction. Discerning third third purpose often happens as friends hang out together, talking about their loves, hopes, and hesitations. I know a group of men who formed what they call a Telos Group, using the Greek word telos which means end, goal, or purpose. They gather each month specifically to help each other to know and live their purpose in the third third of life.

True friends can help us discern our purpose in life, often by asking challenging questions. “Light duty friends” won’t risk making us uncomfortable in this way. But true friends will ask what others won’t.

I experienced this very thing two days ago. A friend and I were talking about my purpose in this season of my life. I was explaining what I believe to be my purpose and how I am pursuing it. But he didn’t just affirm what I was saying. Rather, he challenged some of my assumptions. I could easily have become defensive, but I knew this friend was acting out of love for me and a desire for me to live my best possible life. Though that was not an easy conversation for me, I’m grateful to have such a friend in my life.

Scripture encourages us to rely on the discernment of others. For example, Proverbs 15:22 says, “Without counsel, plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed.” In the New Testament, wise counsel comes in the community of believers, often through the Holy Spirit’s gifts of discernment (see 1 Thes 5:21; 1 Cor 12:10). Even when God’s purpose begins to be revealed miraculously, as when Jesus appeared to Paul on the road to Damascus, the confirmation and clarification of this purpose comes through people. God used a man named Ananias to more fully reveal to Paul God’s purpose for him (Acts 22:6-16).

In this series on God’s purpose and your purpose, I have written about paying attention to many things: to what God is putting on your heart, to how God has made and gifted you, to your fruitfulness, and so forth. Of course, you can and should do this by looking carefully at your life and attending to what’s going on in your heart. Sometimes you’ll do this when you are alone, maybe even on a personal silent retreat. But to gain even greater clarity about your purpose in life, let others in on your process. Tell them what’s going on in you. Share your dreams and visions, as well as your fears and anxieties. Invite the people in your community of purpose to pay attention with you so that, with the help of others, you might truly receive, clarify, craft, and live God’s purpose for your life.

Find all Life for Leaders devotions here. Explore what the Bible has to say about work at the unique website of our partners, the Theology of Work Project. Reflection on today’s Life for Leaders theme can be found here: Paul’s Concern for Others (Acts 20-28).