Sharing Your Gratitude with Others Makes a Big Difference

Scripture — Philippians 1:3-5 (NRSV)

I thank my God every time I remember you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you, because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now.

Devotion

The Bible is full of expressions of gratitude. People in Scripture regularly give thanks for something good in their lives. Plus, you’ll find dozens of passages that urge us to “give thanks.” But, not surprisingly, almost all occasions of thanksgiving in Scripture are directed toward God, not people. It’s rare to come upon a biblical passage in which somebody thanks another person for something. An obvious exception appears in Luke 17 when Jesus healed ten people of leprosy. Only one of the ten thanked Jesus directly (17:16). Even Jesus appeared to be perplexed by the apparent lack of gratitude among those who were healed. “Were not ten made clean?” he asked. “But the other nine, where are they?” (17:17). Yet at least one bothered to say “Thank you.”

Though there are few examples in Scripture of people saying “Thank you” to other people, there are plenty of cases in which somebody thanks God for other people and lets them know about it. The Apostle Paul is the expert in this practice. When writing to his churches, he regularly says that he thanks God for the letters’ recipients. Philippians 1:3-5 provides one salient example: “I thank my God every time I remember you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you, because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now.”

It is surely a fine thing to thank God for the people in our lives. But, taking a cue from St. Paul, it is also good to let the people themselves know we are grateful for them. One way is to say to them, “I thank God for you.” Another way is to simply say “Thank you.” You can thank people for what they’ve done, or for being in your life, or for who they are, or . . . you name it.

Thanking people is polite. It also means a lot to the recipients (and also the ones delivering thanks). But, as it turns out, thanking people can make quite a difference in their lives, including their work. Several years ago, an article was published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology entitled, “A Little Thanks Goes a Long Way: Explaining Why Gratitude Expressions Motivate Prosocial Behavior.” The article reported on research that focused on workplace relationships and behavior. The study’s findings were summarized succinctly: “Gratitude expressions increase prosocial behavior by enabling individuals to feel socially valued.”

Prosocial behavior, according to the American Psychological Association, is “behavior that benefits one or more other people.” It’s acting for the benefit and well-being of someone besides yourself. So, what the researchers found was that when people are thanked for their actions, this helps them to feel valued by their community. It enhances their self-worth. This, in turn, helps them to work more energetically and effectively. Moreover, the researchers found that there were “spillover effects” when people were thanked for their efforts. They not only felt more valued themselves, but also they tended to pass along gratitude to others in a “pay it forward” mode.

Thus, sharing your gratitude for people with those people not only makes them feel good. It also enhances their work and their relationships. If you’re a manager of people at work, then you should be sure to regularly thank the people whom you manage. If you’re looking for guidance on how to do this well, check out “Giving Thanks at Work: An HBR Guide.”

Now, I realize that this devotion is coming the day before the Thanksgiving holiday in the United States. You may already be taking a day off from work, perhaps to travel or to welcome those traveling to your home. So, it might seem that my encouragement to thank the people with whom you work is ill-timed. I get that. But you could certainly make a note to yourself about this, or perhaps add a calendar entry for next Monday. Maybe you should put it on your to-do list. It might be even better if you devised a way to build into your work life a regular practice of thanking your direct reports, colleagues, etc.

But here’s the punch line of today’s devotion. It’s likely that in the next couple of days, you’ll be in relationship with some of the most important people in your life: family, close friends, etc. Perhaps you’ll be sharing Thanksgiving dinner with some of these folks. Or maybe you’ll be on a holiday Zoom or FaceTime call. No matter the context, let me encourage you to think about whom you might want to thank in the next 48 hours. To be sure, you can thank those who are hosting you, those who have cooked your meal, and so forth. If you’re traveling by plane, be sure to thank the flight attendants and pilots. (I’m amazed at how rarely flyers say “Thank you” when deplaning. We can do better than this!)

I’d like to encourage you to take time in the next couple of days to thank people, not only for what they’ve done recently but also for what they’ve done over longer periods of time. When was the last time you thanked your mother or father, your wife or husband, your relatives or dear friends for all they have meant in your life? As I write this devotion, I’m thinking of someone for whom I am hugely grateful. But I don’t think I’ve said this to him in a long time. I am hatching a plan to tell him how grateful I am for him on Thanksgiving Day. I wouldn’t be surprised if you have some people you want to thank as well.

Yes, it’s right and good to thank God for the people who mean so much to us. But it’s also right and good to let them know of our gratitude. May this season of thanksgiving be a time for you to thank the people in your life who have been a blessing to you, whether at work or home, in partnership or friendship.

Banner image by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash.

Find all Life for Leaders devotions here. Explore what the Bible has to say about work at the unique website of our partners, the Theology of Work Project’s online commentary. Reflection on today’s Life for Leaders theme can be found here: The One Who Began a Good Work Among You Will Bring it to Completion (Philippians 1:1–26).

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