Surprising and Disappointing Faith

Scripture — Matthew 14:22-33 (NRSV)

Immediately he made the disciples get into a boat and go on ahead to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but by this time the boat, battered by the waves, was far from the land, for the wind was against them. And early in the morning he came walking toward them on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out in fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.”

Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat, started walking on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he noticed the strong wind, he became frightened, and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” When they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Devotion

Have you ever experienced what I refer to as “faith whiplash”? Here’s what I mean: Think of a time when your faith in God surprised you, a time when you realized your faith was bigger than before. Maybe a trial or struggle revealed that you had more faith than you thought. Those moments feel great, right?

But then the whiplash comes. All that faith you thought you had vanishes. Maybe it’s due to a hope-for promotion falling through, or the reappearance of a health issue you thought was resolved. Even minor setbacks and life disturbances challenge and shake our faith. These moments remind us that while the strength of our faith can surprise us, its frailty can also disappoint us.

In Matthew 14, we have the story of Peter’s surprising and disappointing faith. Here are the basics: After a long day of teaching, Jesus takes some time to pray while his disciples get into a boat. The boat drifts from shore, leaving Jesus stranded on land. So, Jesus walks on the water to get to the disciples. After realizing it is Jesus on the water (and not a ghost, as they previously thought), Peter makes a very bold request: he asks Jesus to invite him to also walk on water. Jesus grants it and Peter steps out of the boat and onto the water.

This is one of those stories where we too quickly move on to the next part. (Spoiler alert—Peter starts to sink.) But before we get to that, let’s digest the fact that Peter does walk on water. Let’s consider the extraordinary, surprising faith this would take. Hold tight to that.

Now we get to the part we all know well. Peter notices the strong winds across the water and, in a moment of fear, starts to sink. It’s as if he’s pulled from this dream-like state of faith and trust in Jesus and is thrust back into the reality of what’s happening: he’s doing something risky and seemingly unsafe.

What a human scene this is, this moment of faith whiplash. Back-to-back, we witness tremendous, walking-on-water faith followed by paralyzing, sinking-into-water fear. So often we assume Peter sinks because he has no faith. But Peter isn’t without faith—his fear is just bigger.  The fear of the conditions—the strong winds and the potential for drowning—is more consuming than Peter’s faith in the one who stands before him.

Faith and fear, it turns out, are not mutually exclusive. In fact, one has the ability to swallow the other entirely. At times, our faith in Jesus can surprise us, swallow up our fears, and enable us to do extraordinary things in Christ. But our faith is still human faith, making it susceptible to being swallowed by our fears. Faith can disappoint us unexpectedly with limitations we didn’t know it had. And those limits are often drawn by our fears. Peter’s surprising and disappointing faith offers us a road map to navigate our own moments of all-consuming fear.

First, take a step of faith. We take the step of faith we can. That looks different for each person. Consider where God is inviting you to step out of comfort and into trust.

Second, name what you fear. In this story, the Gospel writer gives us insight into what Peter fears: the strong winds. Naming what we fear exposes it, bringing it out of darkness and into light.

Third, cry out to Jesus. Call to him, especially when you recognize your faith is failing. Too often we think that our fears or doubts are bad or wrong. But that’s far from true. They are opportunities for Jesus to walk with us into deeper faith. Spaces for our faith to grow.

And finally, worship him. Notice how this experience didn’t push Peter further away from Jesus. Instead, Peter and the others in the boat worshipped Jesus. They suddenly saw Jesus with greater clarity and were in awe. They become more convinced, not less, of who Jesus is. This clarity helps to redraw the limits of our imperfect faith.

Find all Life for Leaders devotions here. Explore what the Bible has to say about work at the High Calling archive, hosted by the unique website of our partners, the Theology of Work Project. Reflection on today’s Life for Leaders theme can be found here: It Is I.