When Ash Wednesday Falls On Valentine’s Day

Scripture — Psalm 103:8-14 (NRSV)

The LORD is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He will not always accuse,
    nor will he keep his anger forever.
He does not deal with us according to our sins
    nor repay us according to our iniquities.
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
    so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
    so far he removes our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion for his children,
    so the LORD has compassion for those who fear him.
For he knows how we were made;
    he remembers that we are dust.

Devotion

Today is Ash Wednesday, one of the most solemn days of the Christian year. It’s a day in which many Christians fast from life’s pleasures while they reflect on the truth of their sinfulness and “dusty” mortality.

Today is also Valentine’s Day, one of the happiest days of the year for many people. It’s a day when folks celebrate romantic love, often with colorful flowers, tasty chocolates, and fancy dinners. On this day we reflect on the delights of being in love.

So what in the world should we do when Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day collide? Celebrate one and ignore the other? Try to mix them somehow? It would seem rather strange, I think, to invite your “valentine” to an Ash Wednesday service before you go out for a sumptuous meal. Plus, gorgeous red roses don’t exactly fit with black ashes on your forehead.

Christians don’t often confront the problem of the convergence of Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day. In the last century, this happened only twice, in 1923 and 1934. In this current century, the overlap of special days happens three times, 2018, 2024, and 2029. After that we won’t have to worry about the convergence of holidays again in the 21st century.

But what should we do today if we want to honor both Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day?

I’m sure there are many possible answers to this question. I’m going to suggest a theological answer that is inspired by a portion of Psalm 103. Verse 8 affirms that “The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” Verse 11 adds, “So great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him.” Psalm 103 highlights God’s love for us, not the romantic love of Valentine’s Day, but the deeper, lasting, steadfast love that embraces us and never lets us go (see Rom 8:38-39).

Psalm 103:13 illustrates God’s steadfast love by noting that as a father has “compassion for his children, so the LORD has compassion for those who fear him.” Then this psalm adds a curious explanation. What is the source of God’s loving compassion for us? “For he knows how we were made; he remembers that we are dust” (v. 14). Now that’s an unexpected insight. Our dustiness represents both our creation from the ground and our morality when we return to the ground in death. Yet when God remembers our dustiness, God does not condemn or reject us. Rather, God has compassion upon us. God feels deeply for us as one expression of divine love.

So, in Psalm 103 there’s a profound relationship between our dustiness and our belovedness. Because God loves us, God sees us in all of our sinful, mortal dustiness, yet has compassion for us. Therefore, when we think of love as an attribute of God, we can make a connection between Ash Wednesday and Valentine’s Day. When we receive the imposition of ashes and hear it said, “You are dust, and to dust you will return,” yes, we’re reminded of our mortality. But we can also remember that God has compassion for us because we are dust. God’s love for us, the powerful, deep, abiding love revealed through the cross of Christ, is right there with us in all of our dustiness.

Now, what I’ve just said doesn’t answer the practical question: How can I honor Ash Wednesday and celebrate Valentine’s Day at the same time? There are a wide variety of answers to this question. I’ll share with you the one my wife and I have chosen. Maybe it will appeal to you.

About 25 years ago Linda and I were eating at a special restaurant on Valentine’s Day. It was quite crowded and therefore rather noisy. The service was slow because the cooks and waiters were operating beyond their capacity. There was even some tension in the air as people at other tables were expressing their unhappiness with the wait times. And, when we finished eating, we could tell that the staff wanted us to leave soon so they could seat another couple.

In the middle of our dinner, one of us asked the other, “Why must we go out to a special meal on February 14th? Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day. We can still do cards and a fun little gift on this day. But wouldn’t it make more sense to go out to dinner either on February 13th or February 15th?” We talked it over and decided to try this plan in the next year.

Sure enough, the following year we went out to dinner on February 15th. Our special restaurant was nearly deserted and wonderfully quiet. The wait staff appeared to be a little tired, but they were attentive. The food was tasty and we felt no pressure to leave quickly so someone else could have our table. Our February 15th quasi-Valentine’s Day dinner was a spectacular success. We’ve been doing this ever since.

Of course, our unusual approach to this holiday tradition also makes it easier when Ash Wednesday falls on February 14. We’ll go to church on the 14th and to dinner on the 15th or 13th. And you know what? My wife and I can celebrate our love for each other just fine on either of those dates. If anything, a quieter and more relaxed situation enhances our experience. Maybe you should try it sometime.

Find all Life for Leaders devotions here. Explore what the Bible has to say about work at the High Calling archive, hosted by the unique website of our partners, the Theology of Work Project. Reflection on today’s Life for Leaders theme can be found here: The Lord Remembers We Are Only Dust.

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