Jesus Wants to Disrupt Your Unconscious Actions

Scripture — Acts 9:1–20 (NRSV)

Meanwhile Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues at Damascus, so that if he found any who belonged to the Way, men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem. Now as he was going along and approaching Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?” He asked, “Who are you, Lord?” The reply came, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. But get up and enter the city, and you will be told what you are to do.” The men who were traveling with him stood speechless because they heard the voice but saw no one. Saul got up from the ground, and though his eyes were open, he could see nothing; so they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. For three days he was without sight, and neither ate nor drank.

Now there was a disciple in Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” He answered, “Here I am, Lord.” The Lord said to him, “Get up and go to the street called Straight, and at the house of Judas look for a man of Tarsus named Saul. At this moment he is praying, and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him so that he might regain his sight.” But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints in Jerusalem; and here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who invoke your name.” But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is an instrument whom I have chosen to bring my name before Gentiles and kings and before the people of Israel; I myself will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.” So Ananias went and entered the house. He laid his hands on Saul and said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on your way here, has sent me so that you may regain your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” And immediately something like scales fell from his eyes, and his sight was restored. Then he got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

For several days he was with the disciples in Damascus, and immediately he began to proclaim Jesus in the synagogues, saying, “He is the Son of God.”

Devotion

Have you ever caught yourself acting in a certain way and wondered, “Why am I doing this?” Almost as if your body acted on its own without your permission?

I find myself having these thoughts around my kids, especially when they don’t listen to me. Like many parents, I have the daily experience of asking my kids to do a variety of tasks that they mostly don’t want to do. Inevitably, this leads to arguments and power struggles. Now that I have an 8-year-old, I can see these struggles coming from a mile away. I often start the struggle patiently, telling myself to stay calm and repeat what needs to get done in a gentle voice. But I eventually reach a point where my desire to have my kids do what I say overwhelms my positive self-talk, and I yell.

I rarely choose to yell. It just happens. The switch feels mysterious to me and often uncontrollable. And although I can’t always control when I yell, I know why I yell. My Dad was a yeller. And my Grandma Etta was a yeller. My family tree is full of yellers who have produced me, the next generation of yellers. To be clear, my family tree is also full of positive qualities and behaviors for which I am deeply grateful. And there are times when I’m able to keep my cool and work out power struggles without yelling. But it is a fact that I have inherited a propensity to control situations through yelling.

Something similar can happen in organizations and workplace cultures. I remember starting a new role at an organization full of hope and enthusiasm for the changes I planned on bringing. Early on, I met co-workers who were cynical about the work I was doing. Like the Pharisee who thanks God for not being a sinful tax collector (Luke 18:11), I arrogantly thanked God I wasn’t like my cynical co-workers. Fast-forward a few years to when our initiative had stalled and the company started a new division to bring change, and I found myself acting in the same cynical manner toward this new division. Without me noticing, a family resemblance had developed between me and my cynical co-workers; I had been transformed into someone I swore I would never become.

In our passage today from Acts, I’d like to suggest that we see something similar in the actions of Saul. The passage begins with Saul spewing murderous threats against the followers of Jesus and seeking authority from the high priest to hunt them down. But Saul is not an isolated actor in the story. Through numerous descriptors, Luke presents Saul as walking in the footsteps of other Pharisees who have inherited their violent practices from the unfaithful ancestors in their family tree.

For example, Saul is a Pharisee (Acts 26:5) who approves of the stoning of Stephen (Acts 8:1), what he later calls the shedding of Stephen’s blood (Acts 22:20). Earlier, in the Gospel of Luke, Jesus criticizes some Pharisees and lawyers because they approve of the killing of God’s prophets in previous generations. Therefore, Jesus warns them that they will be charged for the shed blood of the prophets (Luke 11:47–51).

Seen in this light, Saul’s violent actions bear a family resemblance to a way of acting that has persisted in the lives of God’s people across generations. Like those who have come before him, Saul has inherited ways of being and acting that are contrary to God’s redemptive purposes. And Jesus’s actions to confront Saul and reorient his life away from these unfaithful inherited patterns and toward patterns that align with God’s redemptive purposes give hope that our inherited actions need not define us forever. God desires to give Saul and us a new inheritance, a new way of being and acting in our lives and in our leadership.

I have never experienced a “Damascus Road” moment like Saul. But I can attest to the slow work of God’s grace in my life that has put me on a journey toward inheriting new, life-giving practices in my family life and in my leadership. Practices that help me engage in power struggles without yelling, or help me cultivate hope in difficult organizational environments. And just like Saul needed Ananias, I have needed therapists, coaches, and mentors to help me see what is possible and guide me on the way.

Find all Life for Leaders devotions here. Explore what the Bible has to say about work at the unique website of our partners, the Theology of Work Project. Reflection on today’s Life for Leaders theme can be found here: Work and Christian Identity (Acts 8-12).