Living Your "Why"

Then the daughters of Zelophehad came forward. Zelophehad was son of Hepher son of Gilead son of Machir son of Manasseh, of the clans of Manasseh, son of Joseph. The names of his daughters were Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah. They stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the leaders, and all the congregation, at the entrance of the tent of meeting, saying, “Our father died in the wilderness; he was not among the congregation of those who gathered themselves together against the Lord in the congregation of Korah but died for his own sin, and he had no sons. Why should the name of our father be taken away from his clan because he had no son? Give to us a possession among our father’s brothers.”

Moses brought their case before the Lord. And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “The daughters of Zelophehad are right in what they are saying; you shall indeed let them possess an inheritance among their father’s brothers and pass the inheritance of their father on to them. You shall also speak to the Israelites, saying: If a man dies and has no son, then you shall pass his inheritance on to his daughter. — Numbers 27:1-8

The scripture that begins this article is one of my favorite stories in the Bible. When I first read this story while reading my way through the Bible, I stopped and read it again. I had never heard these bold and brave sisters mentioned in a Bible study, in seminary, or in a sermon. Never. But reading this passage was transformative. Since then, I have preached and written about the daughters of Zelophead and taught their story in Bible studies and in workshops. Their story offers many points of interest, particularly for women. But this is the first time I have told their story as an illustration of knowing your why. Knowing your why means that you understand what gives your life meaning.

You might ask why the story of the daughters of Zelophehad catches my attention, especially when their story is comparatively obscure. Their story strikes me because it feels so personal. They were able to ask for what they needed even though it meant speaking out before the elders, before Moses, and before God. What a formidable audience. Just writing that gives me chills because before discovering my why, I had not had their courage to speak out and claim what I believed was mine or what I believed I deserved. They were women, and women did not speak out to men without sanctions or consequences. Though some consequences can be positive experiences, we are typically unaware of the outcome before we speak out. But when we believe in our why we are willing to risk negative outcomes.

When we believe in our why we are willing to risk negative outcomes.

A Turning Point in Living My Why

Since 2001 and the completion of my doctorate in faith and health, I felt called to advocate for more attention to be given to the role of faith-based communities as a potential partner with healthcare in reducing health disparities. However, almost twenty-five years ago that was not a popular message. I was overlooked and ignored and could not get hired anywhere.

However, in 2004 I learned that Rev. Dr. Kenneth Robinson was appointed Commissioner of the Tennessee Department of Health. I had never met him, but knew from his long commitment to providing spiritual and physical nurture wherever he pastored that he understood my why. I believed then (as now) that providing health information and resources to the faith-based community would create a natural partnership for health providers and be a key collaborator in reducing disparities. I decided I had to speak with him.

He was speaking at a Vanderbilt Medical School Grand Rounds lecture to a standing-room-only crowd. I somehow gained access and waited for him at the end of his lecture. It was a bold move, but I had to introduce myself, pitch my three-minute proposal for a health initiative that formed a partnership with the faith community, and give him my curriculum vitae (CV). I had to push my way through several layers of people to get close to him. Additionally, there were gatekeepers trying to get him to his next appointment. However, I would not be silent or overlooked anymore. I would risk getting a “no.” I was driven by my why—a passion for reaching Black and Hispanic people through their faith communities with health resources to save lives.

I would risk getting a “no.” I was driven by my why—a passion for reaching Black and Hispanic people through their faith communities with health resources to save lives.

I did it! I not only caught his attention but we set an appointment to have a conversation. That was a turning point in living my why. Commissioner Robinson appointed me as the founding director of the Tennessee Department of Health’s Faith-Based Initiative. That position gave me the tools and platform to live my why, which is improving minority health outcomes through the faith-based community. God had allowed me to speak boldly and transform an organization—just as the daughters of Zelophehad spoke boldly and transformed a culture. The faith-health partnership continues today in the Tennessee Department of Health.

With that experience, it makes sense why I am captivated with these five sisters who were not silent. The daughters of Zelophehad spoke out to the elders, to Moses, and to God because they knew their why. They knew the only way for their future generations to have an inheritance was for the laws to be changed and they be allowed the privilege of ownership previously reserved for sons. (Isn’t that bold? Changing the laws!) They were not only speaking for themselves, but for their future generations and the generations of other daughters who would otherwise not inherit. The daughters of Zelophehad’s why compelled them to speak out. Their why gave them the courage to speak because the risk of not speaking was greater than the potential consequences of asking for what they wanted.

A Marketplace Example of Finding Your Why

The founder of IT Cosmetics, Jamie Kern Lima, spent years speaking out and advocating for her products to be included among the offerings of the cosmetics industry, a trillion-dollar industry. She had barriers: Her cosmetic company was different, and so was she. She created cosmetics for women with skin concerns, an audience overlooked and dismissed. Furthermore, Jamie did not fit the cosmetics industry’s traditional image of a slim spokesperson with perfect skin. Jamie, along with millions of women globally, lives with less than “perfect” skin and a curvy body. She lives with rosacea and knows how it feels not to be represented by the cosmetics industry. IT Cosmetics was created to acknowledge the beauty of women like her who had scars or disfigurements on their faces.

She tried to gain entry into traditional, established cosmetic companies by offering them a product that expanded their market. But she kept getting a “no” until she was ready to give up. Then she remembered her why. Jamie writes in her book, Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable,

“I really focused on my why. . . I have to attach a why to any goal. That why has to be so meaningful to you that no matter how hard things get your belief in your why is powerful enough to withstand the hard times when things don’t go your way” (emphasis added).

Jamie followed her why, which led to IT Cosmetics elevating women historically overlooked by including them in her ads and showcasing the transformative effects of her cosmetics. She eventually negotiated the successful sale of IT Cosmetics to L’Oréal in a “billion-dollar deal, becoming the first female CEO of a brand in L’Oreal’s 100+ year history.”

Finding or Restoring Your Why

You may be at a point where you’re ready for a new why. Or your purpose continues to have meaning, but needs a reboot. Consider these resources that can help you identify or restore the energy for your why.

De Pree Center Resources

• Purpose in the Third Third of Life Course—Based on the foundation of biblical truth and enriched by current scholarly research, will help those who are in or approaching the third third receive, clarify, craft, and live their purpose.

• Praying Clarifies Purpose—Prayer enables us to focus on our purpose, rather than become distracted by all sorts of distracting causes and conditions.

Write a Spiritual Narrative

Think about a time in your life when you overcame a challenge or kept going despite not knowing the outcome. Remind yourself of the significance of this story and how it relates to your why and God’s leading by writing a spiritual narrative.

Keep a Toolbox

Collect scripture, inspirational stories, or quotes in an e-file or physical box to quickly read when you need a reminder to believe in your why, relax, and trust God with the outcome.