Discernment in the Third Third of Life

Discernment is the outworking of wisdom, made practical and visible in the choices we make. Wisdom, in turn, begins with the fear of the Lord: the wise person at all times sees God in the place of ultimate honor, reverence, and awe. With God in that place of honor, our decisions involve recognizing and resisting temptations to let other good and important things usurp God’s rightful place. Being a person of discernment—able to see clearly and comprehend what really matters, to differentiate and separate the true or real from the counterfeit—is important at any age. There are, however, some unique needs and special challenges facing those of us in the third third. In this article, we’re going to consider discernment with particular focus on two stages of the third third: entering the third third and leaving the third third.

Entering the Third Third

Coming into the third third, you are likely to find yourself with more discretionary time. Discernment calls for intentional choices on what fills our time and, not incidentally, our minds. The psalmist warned of the dangers of attention paid to scoffers and counselors of questionable character (Psalm 1:1) and did so millennia before the internet and late-night TV. Much has been written over the years about our human tendency to allow entertainment to divert attention, often unwittingly, to the frivolous, away from important but serious matters such as our mortality.

Discernment calls for intentional choices on what fills our time and, not incidentally, our minds.

Some contemporary distractions are good, even Godly, like this article. But pause to consider the sheer volume of good things to read, podcasts to listen to. Add to those distractions the algorithms of social media and streaming television channels, and the opportunities to binge-watch that much-loved series.

Got the picture? Do you see (or discern) yourself in it, as I see myself?

Good.

I am not so naïve as to think that we will cease using the internet and television, but we can choose to limit the amount of time spent worshipping the offerings of our many screens. Recognize the truth that, as a recent op-ed put it, what we pay attention to today is what “control[s] what we will care about tomorrow.”

Commit, therefore, to devoting more of your third third time to delighting in, and meditating on, God’s word (Psalm 1:2). You may have a long-established habit of a daily Quiet Time. Increase that time. Read bigger blocks of scripture—an entire epistle can easily be read in one sitting, for example—and you’ll get a lot more out of it. Consider using, if you don’t already, a journaling edition of scripture to be more actively engaged through underlining, writing personal insights and applications, delighting anew at what you see in his word.

Among the many lessons you’ll discover in your reading, notice and heed the warnings in scripture itself of false but beguiling teachings, words with the appearance of wisdom, or popular trends that toss us to and fro. In every generation, the gospel is deeply countercultural, running contrary to our natural inclinations.

For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written,
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
and the discernment of the discerning I will thwart.” (1 Corinthians 1:18, 19)

Counterfeit gospels were present in the church in Corinth and they abound today. Paul’s words, though written two millennia ago, force us today to learn from the Bereans (Acts 17:11), to carefully examine even that which sounds like spiritual wisdom and discernment.

Leaving the Third Third

So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom. — Psalm 90:12

True wisdom—heart wisdom, life-changing wisdom—combines reverent fear of God with deep awareness of the wonderful but fleeting nature of life. We are mortal. Biblical wisdom and discernment equip us for this reality, helping us resist common regrets of approaching the end:

Research on end-of-life regrets reveals a consistent pattern. People don’t regret missing out on a promotion or failing to buy a bigger house. They regret not asking for forgiveness. They regret not expressing their love more often. They regret holding a grudge. And they regret letting relationships with their families and friends fall apart.

Those regrets are not surprising. They’re the natural consequences of misplaced values, especially contemporary emphases on independence and autonomy. Godly discernment leads us to live our last years in line with the inescapable realities that we are sinners, and we are mortal. Our days are numbered; the third third is the final third.

Godly discernment leads us to live our last years in line with the inescapable realities that we are sinners, and we are mortal.

The good news: in the Gospel sin and death have been conquered!

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8)

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16)

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:25-32)

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1-2)

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34, 35)

Let’s be honest: that last command, “just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another,” would be an unbearable burden, were it not for the fact that Christ’s death has redeemed us already. You and I don’t need to earn that redemption. We are, by grace through faith, already adopted children of the Father (Ephesians 1:3-5). Set free from the law of sin and death, we can in gratitude respond by loving one another as Christ has loved us. Here’s the promise: as we learn, step by step, to love as we have been loved, then all people will know that we are true disciples of Christ.

It’s vital that we comprehend this: the love with which Christ loved us is so much more than “being nice”—so much more than greeting one another with smiles and a “We’re doing well, how are you?” on Sunday mornings.

In fact, long before the contemporary term emerged, what Christ was commanding—what he himself modeled (Philippians 2:3-8)—is “tough love.” Let’s examine just a few practical ways to demonstrate tough love within the body of Christ.

Embrace bearing and, when the time comes, being a burden.

We were created to care for one another, to show people how we love, not just tell them. As we age alongside our families and friends, the time will come when they (or you) need help dressing, bathing, and so forth. Discern those opportunities, and seize them. Volunteer to work with Hospice or a similar ministry in your community or church.

Burdening one another, Christian bio-ethicist Gilbert Meilaendaer has written, is what families—and the Church—are meant for. We’re depriving one another of opportunities to grow into what God intended when we refuse to be a “burden.” One of the most meaningful times I had with my father was during the last week of his life: he needed the care from me that he’d given me in infancy, including bathing and changing diapers. It was a time of blessing for both of us.

Become an ambassador of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:16-19).

The love that lets everyone recognize true disciples is that which comes only from changed hearts. It’s a love that recognizes the importance of restoring relationships that have been strained or broken. It’s a love that recognizes and confesses wrong, rather than denying it, and seeks forgiveness, realizing the priority Christ gave this act (Matthew 5:21-26), recalling also Isaiah’s warnings about hypocritical worship (Isaiah 58:1-5).

The love that lets everyone recognize true disciples is that which comes only from changed hearts.

Perhaps more important, if only because we see it far less frequently, we’re called to a love that cares enough to discern and confront sin and failure in our brothers and sisters, doing so in a timely and restorative manner, always tempering hard words with the grace we’ve received in abundance (Matthew 18:15-35; Galatians 6:1-2).

Tough love is not easy. Even casual reading of scripture—to say nothing of careful study—shows that tough love, grateful to Christ for his, is what we were created to give and receive. Grasping this truth will enable us to end the third third with no regrets, ready to meet our Lord.

Conclusion

“When you are born, you look like your parents; when you die, you look like your decisions.”
— Crawford Loritts, pastor and author, speaking in Pretoria, South Africa, 11/1/2025

Every decision—every choice we make—can be situated somewhere on a spectrum from foolish to wise. Those of us in the third third of life have already been shaped by the choices of the first two-thirds of our lives.

• How did we use our money? What did we buy? Why? What did we give away?
• How did we relate to other people? What was our response to criticism? Praise?
• What was our response to hardship? Suffering? Success? Failure?

There are big decisions and small. But each one, every discernment along the way, discloses a bit of what we consider important. In the third third of life, we have many opportunities to determine what we will look like at the end.