Not Retired: Living "In Between"

God began to do a good work in you.
And I am sure that he will keep on doing it until he has finished it.
Philippians 1:6 (Worldwide English)

After Bonnie, who recently retired, read my article, “Why Did Sarah Laugh?”, she sent an email that mirrored my own thoughts. In my article, I reflected on the time Sarah spent waiting for the child she and Abraham longed for, and that I, too, am waiting for clarity on where God is leading me after retiring from my profession. Bonnie feels that she is also waiting and wrote:

“I believe that God had called me into a similar place of waiting; however, the longer I wait, the more I find myself becoming a bit anxious…I don’t know what to say to those who are asking me what I am doing now. Or am I going to get another job? Their questions mirror my own inner questions. How long should I wait? What exactly am I waiting for?

As I sit with these questions, I find myself reflecting on Abraham (as opposed to your ponderings on Sarah). However, the difference between either Abraham or Sarah is that God had told them what their new identity was going to be… they were waiting for God to make their new identity a reality. However, in my case, I only know what God has said I am NOT…, this is something I have never experienced before!!!!” (Used with permission.)

I love Bonnie’s questions because they echo questions that are in my heart and what I have heard from others as they either prepare to retire or after they have left a long-time career. Though Bonnie has retired from her previous career, she hasn’t retired from continuing in the service of God and her community.

I suggest that when she is asked what she is doing next, she can respond, “I am in-between and growing while I wait for the next opportunity to serve.” Nonetheless, Bonnie continues to be active—watercolor painting, gardening, writing Haiku—because being “in-between” is not being non-productive. It is a time of exploration while waiting. So how do you find meaning in the in-between? You can expand your retirement narrative, explore and serve while waiting on God’s timing, and finally consider “layering” your ways of serving.

Expand Your Retirement Narrative

Describing these seasons of waiting as being “in-between” is my way of defining my own retirement story. And it brought to mind the TED talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, author and MacArthur “Genius Grant” recipient, “The Danger of a Single Story.” Adichie speaks of how people who did not know her believed a single story about her: that because she is from Africa she is one of the “incomprehensible people, fighting senseless wars, dying of poverty and AIDS.” Furthermore, her early novel of a middle-class African family (she grew up in such a family) was met with disbelief by a professor as not being “African enough.” “So that is how to create a single story, show a people as one thing, as only one thing, over and over again, and that is what they become.” A summary of Adichie’s TED talk reads, “Stories wield power to humanize or marginalize; balancing narratives restores dignity and celebrates our shared humanity.”

Not only is this dangerous to reduce a person, a culture, or a continent to a single story, it is also risky to reduce an experience such as retirement to an outdated, single story of working forty years, earning a gold watch, and living for leisure activities for the remaining years. However, we continue to hold on to the idea that being retired needs to look a certain way. Our collective expectation is that once we retire, we will have a template for what is next, with a five-year plan and a strategy on how to execute this plan. Maybe some of you fit that narrative. But for myself, Bonnie, and most of the people whose stories I have had the honor of listening to, we have less certainty and more of a sense of being “in-between.” We know God has a new plan for a hoped-for future that offers joy and even adventure. However, there may be a season of being in between the former story and the new that requires a renewed way of thinking.

We know God has a new plan for a hoped-for future that offers joy and even adventure. However, there may be a season of being in between the former story and the new that requires a renewed way of thinking.

Rather than a single story, I offer you three different stories of retirement. You met Bonnie earlier; now, meet Gail and Rev. Agnes. Bonnie’s new story begins after she retired, which allows her time to create a vision for her emerging story. Though both Gail and Rev. Agnes began their next story before retiring, their outcomes are different. Gail extended her professional life to make room for a totally new vision after retirement. While Rev. Agnes layers her work to include the familiar along with the novel.

Waiting is not Doing Nothing

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength. Isaiah 40:3a (ESV)

Gail has been on the police force for over 40 years. Her positions have been varied: a D.A.R.E. officer, an administrative aide to the Commander, a detective, a patrol officer, and once she decides to retire, she will retire as a Sergeant. She has loved being on the police force, and, as her sister, I would say she gets “Protect and Serve” right. Therefore, when the Department decided it was time for her to retire last month, she did not agree. She wanted to retire on her own terms and not be sent out with a letter saying, in essence, “Goodbye! Your time is up.” She resisted and won her appeal. Perfect, because she and my other sister, Ava, use their personal funds to lead a ministry called Visually Impaired People (V.I.P). Twice a month they bring the VIPs together for community, provide meals and gifts for their gatherings, and escort them to other events. With Gail’s extended time, they can reach their financial goal for the ministry. Sometimes retirement is not the full story. Sometimes, the story is found in what is happening “in-between.”

A Layered Life

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us. Ephesians 3:20 (ESV)

In his book, R.O.A.R. into the second half of your life (before it’s too late), Michael Clinton writes, “I knew I needed to reimagine my life. . . .That’s when I came up with this idea I called ‘life layering.’ I was determined to add another layer to my life [before retirement]. . . .” Life layering is how I would describe Rev. Agnes’ life after her retirement three years ago. She sent me an email in response to my article, “Reimagining Retirement,” where she described her activities before and since retiring. She wrote, “I had been fortunate to have had a period of disability [before retirement] that enabled me to recognize how important it was going to be to have some sense of identity beyond my work as a pastor.” Rev. Agnes layered her life. She is:

• Exploring mentoring youth globally through a program designed for older people.
• Mentoring a woman pursuing credentialing as a lay pastor.
• Reading theology and also studying philosophy.
• Seeing her carving and painting endeavors as opportunities for self-exploration and as ways to gift others.

All of these stories are evolving. Neither story is the only retirement story. And yours doesn’t have to be either. God will continue your retirement story until it’s finished. That means you may be waiting while in-between stories or balancing a layered life. But, I promise you, it will not be a single story.

God will continue your retirement story until it’s finished. That means you may be waiting while in-between stories or balancing a layered life. But, I promise you, it will not be a single story.

Creating Your Retirement Story

“Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it. For still the vision awaits its appointed time.” Habakkuk 2:2 (ESV)

I have led many workshops in diverse settings, and one activity that is the most well-received (and fun) is leading the group in creating a Vision Board. I invite you to take time to sit and prayerfully create your own unique retirement story. Here are two guides. Please make them your own.

Steps to a Retirement Vision Board
(click for more ideas)

• Create a list of retirement goals or write your dreams for retirement.
• Cut images from magazines or picture books that bring you joy and speak to your vision for your goals, dreams, and purpose.
• Make a collage from the pictures. Arrange them in creative ways. Or use an electronic vision board.
• Add Scripture, affirmations, and motivational words. Include words that bring you joy and inspire you to dream.
• Place your Vision Board where you can see it daily. Pray about, reflect on, and be inspired by this retirement vision God has given you. Enjoy.

Dr. Mark Roberts, an inspiration and encourager to me, speaks of his retirement from a Biblical perspective, which gives emphasis to how our work continues until God says it is finished. He will say a few words next month. Please write me about your retirement story. Thank you.