Retirement Mentor: A New Type of Mentor

In old age they still produce fruit;
they are always green and full of sap,
showing that the LORD is upright; he is my rock,
and there is no unrighteousness in him.
Psalm 92:14-15

What do Jethro, Naomi, Paul, and Jesus have in common? They were all mentors.

Jethro, father-in-law to the patriarch Moses, provided advice, “Listen now to me and I will give you some advice, and may God be with you” (Exodus 18:19). Jethro’s counsel turned Moses’ life from an unproductive worker hearing petitions from morning to night, to the life of a productive leader who handled only select cases. Naomi mentored Ruth her daughter-in-law, a Moabite woman, by educating her on the customs of Naomi’s people in the land of Judah, as well as advising her on her future: “One day Ruth’s mother-in-law Naomi said to her, ‘My daughter, I must find a home for you, where you will be well provided for’” (Ruth 3:1). The apostle Paul mentored Timothy by allowing Timothy to join him on his journeys (Acts 16:3). And the most impactful mentor was Jesus, who spent the all three years of his ministry mentoring his twelve disciples until his death. Scripture offers more examples of mentors. God takes mentoring seriously.

God takes mentoring seriously.

Not only is mentoring essential in our spiritual lives, but there is a huge amount of information on mentoring for all parts of our lives: how to be one, how to find one, or what makes a good mentor, which, according to Oprah Winfrey, is “someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” The mentor who offers hope and encourages personal growth is a benefit at any stage. However, having a mentor when your life is “in-between” what it was and what God has next for you is a gift.

Retirement Mentors

Consider the idea of connecting to a “retirement mentor” who could influence your next steps and encourage you to flourish and bear fruit as you age. This idea grew out of a cohort I facilitated as part of the De Pree Center’s Third Third Initiative. Dr. Mark Roberts (whose comments will appear later) is the force behind this innovative initiative for people who are committed to living how God intends for their lives after the age of 55.

In one of the interactive sessions, we were asked to think about who our mentors have been and when we have been a mentor to others. As the group members shared their mentoring experiences, they began to include people who were retired and who had made a difference in their lives. The idea of a “retirement mentor” (RM) grew out of that conversation.

As the group members shared their mentoring experiences, they began to include people who were retired and who had made a difference in their lives. The idea of a “retirement mentor” grew out of that conversation.

Then the idea of an RM grew in me. I thought, “Why not connect to someone close to my age who is creating a retirement that allows them to live with purpose?” I wondered what would make an RM different from the mentors from my corporate life or a spiritual advisor.

I put together a short list of four things that came to mind about an RM:

1. We have retirement mentors in our lives already.
2. Retirement mentors can be found virtually: in books, podcasts, online.
3. A retirement mentor may be a one-time encounter or a lifetime commitment.
4. We can be retirement mentors by living our lives authentically, by sharing our stories, or by validating someone else’s retirement journey.

Retirement Mentors in My Life

I asked three people I admire to tell their stories about retirement. I encourage you to talk with people in your life whose approach to retirement brings you joy or hope, or whose lives are fascinating. Just stay curious and ask. (This does not mean you can’t ask a stranger. Consider it as part of your retirement adventure to learn how others are defining this important part of their lives.)

Sharon’s story

The title of this article comes in part from my friend of over thirty years, Sharon Sommerville. Sharon retired from her profession as an occupational therapist after over thirty years. She strengthened older adults as well as children through her skills as an occupational therapist. When I asked her to write a few words about her retirement, she wrote this:

About six months after I retired, I realized how much I didn’t know about “retirement.” I knew I wanted to remain physically active, spend time with family and friends, travel. . . I thought I would have an epiphany where I would decide how I would continue utilizing my talents in a volunteer capacity to benefit others.

Now I see retirement as a fluid phase in my life cycle that will probably involve having many different goals and interests. It is my prayer that this phase of my life will be “somewhat lengthy”—whatever that means.

I realize now that I still value change, spontaneity, and growth—and I can’t imagine doing exactly the same things even for the next 5-10 years. I’m still reminding myself it’s okay not to have a plan.

Sharon said, “change, spontaneity, and growth” are her core values for retirement. Think about what you would list as yours. Those work for me.

Victor’s story

I met Dr. Victor Anderson when he was my Ethics Professor at Vanderbilt Divinity School about thirty years ago. He is planning to retire in three years, and when I say planning, I mean that it is one of his core values. Asking him about his retirement plans gave us a chance to catch up on both our lives. That is another advantage of reaching out and asking people you know about their retirement. You connect and deepen relationships. Victor said,

Retirement is not the same as being laid off, fired, or something unexpected happening. It’s something I have control over. I am looking forward to retirement. I have invested in it and it is not the end of something, but a transition to other things. We plan for retirement, but not for what happens after retirement.

But, Victor did plan for after retirement and gave me his three-point plan:

1. Personal Finances: Mortgage paid off and no big bills.
2. Personal Fulfillment: Currently enrolled in an online Certificate Program in Copyediting at New York University to have credentials to freelance at academic publishing houses.
3. Continuing to be Faithful: “Regardless of how old we are, we can still do good!”

If planning is your style, what is your plan for after retirement?

Mark’s story

Dr. Mark Roberts has become a friend since he invited me to write for the Third Third Initiative almost three years ago. He writes about being a mentor and mentoring. So, I was curious to know who his retirement mentor would be. Without any hesitancy, he named his grandfather. Mark writes:

As I think about the people who have taught me how to flourish in retirement, the first person who comes to mind is my grandfather. Donald Williams, whom I called “Poppy.” He retired after 40 years working as a civil engineer for a construction company. When he retired, Poppy finally had time for his hobbies, like his workshop or his garden. He also donated his engineering expertise to charitable organizations. He once said to me, “I’m working just as much in retirement as I did before, only I’m not getting paid.” But he wasn’t complaining, he loved making a difference, which may help to explain why he flourished all the way to the age of 89.

Poppy prioritized relationships, especially his relationship with me. He was truly my best friend as I grew up. I’m quite sure Poppy was not aware of research showing that good relationships are the single most important factor in third third flourishing. But he and I both benefited from our 35-year friendship. As I begin to explore the new world of “retirement,” I want to be like Poppy. I want to live with purpose, joyfully creating, continually learning, consistently serving, and lovingly connecting with the people I love.

Virtual Retirement Mentors

Here are two books I consider retirement mentors. My favorite is Hyrum Smith’s book, Purposeful Retirement. He has a chapter on mentors and mentoring.
• Purposeful Retirement: How to Bring Happiness and Meaning to Your Retirement. Hyrum W. Smith.
“Don’t retire! Join me in just doing something else. If you’re ready to create a purposeful retirement, read this book. Make plans today. Because we’re not done and we’re definitely not dead yet!”

• Don’t Retire: Rewire! 5 Steps to Fulfilling Work That Fuels Your Passion, Suits Your Personality, and Fills Your Pocket, by Jeri Sedlar and Rick Miners.
“To rewire is to reroute the personal energy you spent on full-time work into work activities… that can transform your next act into the most fulfilling time of your life.”

This is the final of my three articles on retirement. Continue to stay in touch. I am interested in your retirement journey.