3 Reasons You Need a Mentor

In 2022, we surveyed over 244 adults ages 18-49 to learn about their experiences with mentoring. At that time, only 1 in 4 of them had a mentor. A third of respondents said they didn’t have a mentor and weren’t looking for one. Those numbers surprised us because mentoring is so beneficial. Here are three reasons why you need a mentor.

Mentors Can Help You Learn

Many of us enter our careers after several years of formal education. We went to college and then perhaps pursued a master’s degree. We’ve developed some expertise in our field, but so much of what we need to succeed on the job can’t be learned in the classroom. It has to be learned in the context of a relationship. Mentoring is one such relationship.

Max De Pree believed that we need mentoring relationships to help us grow in wisdom. But “Wisdom isn’t the same as knowledge,” writes Mark Roberts. “Wisdom is judging what’s best or having good sense. It’s knowing how to live well and choosing to do so.” When a mentor comes alongside us, we can receive their stories, listen to their advice, and watch how they live. As we make sense of what they say and what we observe and begin to apply what we’ve learned, we grow in wisdom.

When a mentor comes alongside us, we can receive their stories, listen to their advice, and watch how they live.

Mentors Can Help You Overcome Loneliness

In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murphy reported that loneliness and social isolation are a major threat to our health and well-being. One of the suggestions he offers to combat the loneliness epidemic is mentoring. Mentoring, Murphy argues, is one of the keys to creating more social connections in our communities:

“Research suggests that diversifying social relationships to include connections with people who are outside of your group (bridging social capital), as well as connections between people of differing power status in the community (linking social capital) are also associated with improved community health and well-being. Examples of these types of relationships include cultivating intergenerational friendships (bridging) or developing programs like a mentorship exchange between youth and local employers (linking).”

We’ve heard emerging leaders report how a regular, monthly meeting with a mentor gave them someone to meet with, someone to listen to them. It seemed their mentoring relationships helped them feel less lonely.

Mentors Can Help You Lead Better

From our research on flourishing leaders and cultivating joy at work, we’ve learned that leaders can’t go it alone. We need a network of strong relationships—family, friends, mentors, sponsors, therapists, and/or spiritual directors—to help us lead well. Often our mentors are people who have gone before us. We can come to them with questions about leadership. When we’re in the midst of challenges, crises, and crucibles, they can encourage us and help us find our way. When we’re prone to despair, our mentor can remind us where to anchor our hope.

When we’re prone to despair, our mentor can remind us where to anchor our hope.

Roger’s Story

Shortly before we conducted our mentoring survey, we interviewed 25 exemplary mentors to understand their experiences with and perspectives on mentoring. I loved hearing Roger’s story. He was in his early 70s when I interviewed him, but he recalled some of his previous mentors as if it were yesterday. Well, in his case, perhaps it was. He was still being mentored by one of them.

Roger built his career in the world of sports—first professional and then collegiate. He loved working in the industry, but he had a lot to learn. He shared with me that most of the time his bosses in his various positions became his mentors. Long before the days of remote and hybrid work, Roger would go into the office where he could see his bosses on a regular basis. He told me,

“What stuck out to me, Meryl, was their leadership style. In fact, as I think back, I probably always really closely observed those who were over me or ahead of me in an organization whether directly or indirectly. I observed what I liked and didn’t like about their character, their leadership style, their empathy, how they related to people, how they handled pressure. My two most important mentors happened to be men that I worked for.”

As he moved from job to job, Roger took the opportunity to learn from his mentors. “Boy, I would just ask a lot of questions of those above me in terms of trying to learn the atmosphere of intercollegiate athletics and the inner workings….I know I was naturally curious.” To this day, Roger’s mentors shape his life and leadership: “Certainly, not a week goes by where I find myself thinking What would George do? What would Buzz do? How would they handle that situation?” Roger gained so much from his mentors and still draws on their wisdom today.

The Next Steps on Your Mentoring Journey

To learn more about the benefits of mentoring, check out our FREE Mentee Guidebook. If you’re convinced you need a mentor, but don’t know how do you find one, check out our article, “How to Find a Mentor.”