Clarifying Your Purpose in the Third Third of Life, Part 5

This is the fifth article in a series on “Clarifying Your Purpose in the Third Third of Life.” To this point, I have offered six suggestions to help you identify and live into your third third purpose:

Suggestion 1: Be committed to God’s purpose for all things, including your life.

Suggestion 2: Seek the Lord in prayer and surrender to God’s will.

Suggestion 3: Pay attention to how God has made and gifted you.

Suggestion 4: Pay attention to what God is putting on your heart.

Suggestion 5: Pay attention to where you are bearing fruit.

Suggestion 6: Look for continuity but be open to surprises.

In this article, I will offer another suggestion.

Suggestion 7: Get in touch with and act upon your generativity.

Generativity is essential to flourishing in the third third of life. What is generativity? The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines “generativity” as “a need to nurture and guide younger people and contribute to the next generation.” John Kotre, in his book Outliving the Self: Generativity and the Interpretation of Lives, explains that generativity is “the desire to invest one’s substance in forms of life and work that will outlive the self” (p. 10). Generativity could be described as a deep desire to leave a legacy for the future, not just a financial legacy, but a legacy of excellence, example, empowerment, and encouragement.

The significance of generativity as we age was first emphasized by developmental psychologist Erik Erikson. In his earlier writings, he saw generativity as crucial for middle-adulthood, ages 40-65. But as he got older, Erikson recognized that a concern for generativity remains strong beyond age 65. Thus, he wrote in The Life Cycle Completed,“[I]ndeed, old people can and need to maintain a grand-generative function” (p. 64).

This “grand-generative function” is found in Scripture. In Psalm 71, for example, the psalm writer prays,

O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might
to all the generations to come. (71:17-18)

The psalm writer’s desire to proclaim God’s might “to all the generations to come” expresses his generativity.

Similarly, in Deuteronomy 4:9, Moses said to the Israelites:

But take care and watch yourselves closely, so as neither to forget the things that your eyes have seen nor to let them slip from your mind all the days of your life; make them known to your children and your children’s children.

Moses was concerned about the future of the Israelites, not only in the next generation but also in many generations to come. Psalm 90, attributed to Moses, reveals a grand-generative vision:

Lord, you have been our dwelling place
in all generations.
Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God. . . .
Let your work be manifest to your servants,
and your glorious power to their children. (Ps 90:1-2, 16)

You may already be in touch with your generativity. If you are a grandparent, for example, you are likely deeply concerned about the future of your grandchild (or grandchildren), and not just their personal future, but also the future of the world in which they will live. You are eager to make a difference in their lives and their world, a difference that will endure long after you are gone.

Many third-thirders find ways to invest in younger generations besides what they do with their families. I think, for example, of Mr. Young who taught seventh-grade Sunday School when I was a boy. With his balding head, gray beard, and booming baritone, he seemed to me like the “ancient of days.” (In reality, he was probably younger than I am now!) Mr. Young loved teaching his “men,” something he did for dozens of years with exceptional enthusiasm. But he didn’t just teach on Sundays. He took his “men” on adventures in a converted school bus, camping on secluded beaches, and driving over the dunes (back when that was legal in California).

In increasing numbers, older adults are exercising their generativity by serving in schools, especially underserved elementary and middle schools. Marc Freedman’s wonderful book, How to Live Forever: The Enduring Power of Connecting the Generations, tells many stories of older adults volunteering in schools through the Experience Corps program. He chronicles the difference this has made for the students and for the grown-ups who serve them. For students, learning improves, test scores go up, and behavior problems plummet. The older adult volunteers also had higher test scores, not on math and science tests, but on tests of physical and mental health. Freedman summarizes some of these findings:

Linda Fried wrote in the Atlantic in 2014 that most volunteers who spent six months in the program dramatically improved their ability to solve complex problems. What’s more, these Experience Corps members “showed new activation in areas of the brain involved with complex problem-solving, compared with a control group with a similar level of education who did not participate” (p. 72).

Recently, I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Karen Pearson, the President of Kids Hope USA. This organization leads a mentoring program that connects adults—often folks in the third third of life—with elementary and middle-school students. One-on-one relationships with mentors help students form values, establish self-esteem, and acquire academic skills. Part of the genius of Kids Hope USA is its vision for connecting churches with their neighborhood schools. Congregations are enabled to serve their local communities, students benefit from mentoring relationships, and mentors have the opportunity to express their generativity in meaningful ways.

You may already be investing in future generations in your family, neighborhood, church, or community. You understand that this is essential to your purpose in the third third of life. That’s great. I would encourage you to keep it up and to be open to new possibilities for service as they come your way.

If you are not exercising your generativity at this time, it may be that your life is full of all sorts of other things, especially if you’re working full-time. Or, you may have discretionary time, but simply haven’t paid much attention to your inner desire for generativity. No matter your personal situation, I would encourage you to pay attention to your generative intuitions. Take time to reflect and to pray. Talk about this with your family, friends, small group, pastor, or spiritual director. Ask the Lord to give you a greater burden for the future, that is, for God’s future among people of the next generations.

As I wrap up this article, let me once again review the suggestions from earlier in this series:

Suggestion 1: Be committed to God’s purpose for all things, including your life.

Suggestion 2: Seek the Lord in prayer and surrender to God’s will.

Suggestion 3: Pay attention to how God has made and gifted you.

Suggestion 4: Pay attention to what God is putting on your heart.

Suggestion 5: Pay attention to where you are bearing fruit.

Suggestion 6: Look for continuity but be open to surprises.

Suggestion 7: Get in touch with and act upon your generativity.

In the next article in this series, I’ll offer an additional suggestion for clarifying your third third purpose.

Banner image by Dario Valenzuela on Unsplash.