Biblical Guidance on Seeking the Best for Others in the Third Third of Life

Six years ago, I stepped down as executive director of the De Pree Center in order to focus more of my time on the center’s Third Third initiative. I was pleased that the new executive director was Michaela O’Donnell, with whom I had worked closely for years and for whom I had much respect. I felt certain the De Pree Center would thrive with Michaela at the helm. I was so right about that, if you’ll pardon a bit of bragging.

One of the things Michaela initiated was establishing quarterly De Pree Center themes, such as discernment, rest, relational challenges, and so forth. I loved this innovation because it enabled the De Pree Center to address the practical concerns of the people we serve. Also, it meant we could create collections of relevant thematic resources for ongoing use. Moreover, I enjoyed the quarterly themes because they challenged me to think creatively and critically about new subjects. Whether writing Life for Leaders devotions or articles for Third Third Life, I was excited to learn new things and write about them for our readers. (In CliftonStrengths, formerly StrengthsFinder, Learning is #3 for me. I love learning, especially when I can share my discoveries with the people I serve.)

The De Pree Center theme for this quarter is Seeking the Best for Others. (For an engaging introduction to this theme, check out Michaela’s short video.) When I first learned of this theme, my mind began racing with various relevant biblical passages. Quite a few came quickly to mind. Others occurred to me upon deeper reflection. As I considered what we learn from Scripture about seeking the best for others, I was especially curious about anything that might be especially relevant to older adults. In the rest of this article, I’d like to share with you some of what I learned from my biblical investigations.

Loving Your Neighbor as Yourself

Though the Bible doesn’t use the precise wording, “Seek the best for others,” it does commend such behavior in a variety of ways. The Old Testament teaches us, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev 19:18). Jesus affirmed the importance of such love when he said that, in addition to our top priority of loving God, we should also love our neighbor as ourselves (Matt 22:37-39). Loving our neighbors surely includes seeking the best for them. In fact, it’s hard to imagine how genuine love could be anything other than this.

Loving our neighbors surely includes seeking the best for them. In fact, it’s hard to imagine how genuine love could be anything other than this.

One time, when Jesus mentioned the importance of loving your neighbor as yourself, an expert in the Jewish law challenged Jesus by asking, “And who is my neighbor?” (Luke 10:29). Jesus responded by telling a story, the one we know as The Good Samaritan. The chief actor in the story, a Samaritan, discovered a Jewish man who had been beaten and robbed. The Samaritan cared for this man in a compassionate, courageous, and sacrificial way. His actions were especially surprising given the fact that Jews and Samaritans did not get along because of historical and theological conflicts. But that didn’t keep the Samaritan from doing what was best for his unlikely neighbor.

Thus, Jesus’s story illustrates how love of neighbor means seeking the best for someone else, even if that person is someone your culture does not regard as worthy of your care, and even at high personal cost and risk to yourself. So, if we’re going to model our lives on Jesus’s life and teaching, then we will necessarily seek what’s best for others even when it is not obviously to our own advantage. This is an essential part of loving our neighbor as ourselves.

Seeking the Good of Others in the New Testament Letters

Several passages in the New Testament letters of Paul reaffirm what we learn from Jesus about seeking the best for others. 1 Corinthians 10:24 is the most obvious example. Here’s how this verse reads in various English translations:

Do not seek your own advantage, but that of the other (NRSV).

No one should seek their own good, but the good of others (NIV).

Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others (NLT).

A few verses later, Paul points to his own practice as an example of this kind of other-focused behavior: “I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, so that they may be saved” (1 Cor 10:33).

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul makes explicit the connection between acting for the good of others and the example of Jesus:

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others. Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus (2:3-5).

Then Paul explains the mind of Christ by summarizing Christ’s choice to give up the advantages of deity by becoming human, even suffering on the cross. Talk about seeking the best for others at great personal cost!

The New Testament writings of John also commend loving others by seeking what’s best for them, in imitation of Christ. For example, it says in 1 John 3:16-18:

We know love by this, that [the Son of God] laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.

This passage reaffirms what Paul taught about loving others in imitation of Christ. It clarifies that such love should be expressed in tangible actions. (Paul would have agreed, of course.)

Older People in the Bible Who Seek the Best for Others

There are many stories in Scripture of older people seeking the best for others. Moses, Aaron, and Miriam offer salient examples. They were in their 80s when God used them to set the people of Israel free from their bondage in Egypt, guiding them to the promised land. Of course, these three leaders didn’t hatch a plan to free the Israelites because they figured out what was best for their people. Rather, Moses, Aaron, and Miriam acted in obedience to God. It was God who wanted what was best for God’s own people. God often uses us for this very thing, though what we do might be less spectacular than the Exodus.

Naomi, whom we know from the book of Ruth, offers a striking biblical example of an older person seeking the best for a younger person. We aren’t told Naomi’s exact age. But, given the fact that Naomi’s grown sons married and lived for ten more years before they died, Naomi must have been getting on in years (to borrow Zechariah’s description of his wife Elizabeth; Luke 1:18).

Naomi’s life was made difficult, we might even say perilous, by the deaths of her husband and her sons. A woman in that situation was physically, socially, and economically vulnerable. So, Naomi decided to return to Judah in the hope of finding adequate food there (Ruth 1:6). But she urged her daughters-in-law, the widows of her sons, to stay in Moab with their families (1:9). Leaving for Judah without her daughters-in-law would have made Naomi’s situation ever riskier, but she wanted what was best for her Orpah and Ruth. In particular, Naomi hoped that they might find husbands in Moab.

Orpah did stay in Moab, but Ruth chose to remain with Naomi. Why? Because she wanted what was best for her mother-in-law, even if this meant Ruth might never remarry. What a moving example of a younger person choosing what’s best for an older person!

As Naomi and Ruth settled in Judah, Ruth began gleaning in a field belonging to a man named Boaz, so as to provide food for herself and Naomi. Naomi showed concern for Ruth’s well-being and safety while she gleaned. (2:22-23). But, beyond this, Naomi sought “security” for Ruth, “so that it may be well with her” (3:1). The older woman advised her daughter-in-law in the ways of Jewish culture, encouraging her to pursue a relationship with Boaz. In time, Boaz and Ruth married. Later, she gave birth to a son (4:13). Naomi, once again, expressed her care for Ruth by becoming the son’s nurse (4:16). (That baby boy, by the way, was named Obed. He was the father of Jesse and the grandfather of King David.)

While it’s true that Naomi offers a stirring example of an older person seeking what’s best for a younger person, in fact, the story of Naomi and Ruth offers a moving illustration of intergenerational concern and loving mutual sacrifice. Yes, Naomi sought the best for Ruth at considerable cost to herself. And Ruth returned the favor by seeking the best for Naomi.

An Older Psalmist Seeks the Best for Future Generations

In Psalm 71, we see another situation in which an older person seeks what’s good for younger people. Though we don’t know the exact age or even the name of the writer of Psalm 71, we do know that he was well on in years because he prays, “Do not cast me off in the time of old age; do not forsake me when my strength is spent” (Psalm 71:9). Then, several verses later, the psalmist pleads,

O God, from my youth you have taught me,
and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
So even to old age and gray hairs,
O God, do not forsake me,
until I proclaim your might
to all the generations to come (71:17-18).

As an older person, the psalm writer is eager to pass on to younger people God’s “wondrous deeds” and “might.” Why? A major motivation is what we would call worship. The psalmist eagerly and joyfully praises the Lord for the Lord’s faithfulness and grace (71:19-24). But it also seems clear that the writer is motivated by a desire to serve “all the generations to come.” A central element of this older person’s legacy is serving others, especially those who are younger. He wants future generations to know of God’s saving deeds, yes, for God’s glory, to be sure, but also for the good of those generations.

Other Biblical Examples of Seeking the Best for Others

There are many other examples in Scripture of people seeking the best for others. I’ll mention two more before wrapping up this article.

In the New Testament, we watch as four men carry their companion, who is paralyzed, to Jesus, so that he might be healed. But when the crowd around Jesus prevents the men from gaining access to Jesus, the friends do a shocking thing. They get up on the roof of the house where Jesus is ministering. Then they dig a hole in the roof, one large enough so they can lower their friend through it down to Jesus. I can imagine the fears these men might have had, knowing they were destroying personal property, wondering if they’d look like fools, worrying about whether Jesus would heal their friend or not, and so forth. These men risked a lot because they wanted what was best for their friend. In the end, not only was he healed, but all who witnessed this event were amazed and glorified God. (Presumably some of them also helped fix the roof!)

In the Old Testament book of Joshua, we find the story of Rahab, who risks her life to protect two Jewish men who had come to Jericho as spies (Joshua 2:1-24). In this case, Rahab acted not only for the good of the spies, but also for her own benefit and that of her family. She hoped that their lives would be spared by God because of what she had done. Sometimes, when we do what is best for others, we are also rewarded.

Experiencing the Joy of Seeking the Best for Others

It’s not wrong to seek the best of others with the knowledge that you too will benefit in some way. In fact, the most extraordinary act of seeking the best for others was done both for the benefit of others and for the sake of the person doing that act. I’m speaking here of Jesus and his decision to be crucified “for us and our salvation” (Nicene Creed). He did this for us, yes, but also for the joy he would experience because of his sacrifice.

I’m not making this up. It’s right there in the New Testament letter to the Hebrews. There, Jesus is the “pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the sake of the joy that was set before him endured the cross, disregarding its shame, and has taken his seat at the right hand of the throne of God” (Heb 12:2, italics added). Yes, as Jesus suffered unimaginable physical, emotional, and spiritual pain, in his suffering, he knew the joy of fulfilling his Father’s will for the sake of all people. And then, after enduring the cross, he was exalted to “the right hand of the throne of God.” We can’t even begin to imagine the joy of our Lord in his exaltation.

As Jesus suffered unimaginable physical, emotional, and spiritual pain, in his suffering, he knew the joy of fulfilling his Father’s will for the sake of all people.

Of course, it would be oddly selfish if we were to seek the best for others mainly for our own benefit. We are rightly motivated, not by self-interest, but by genuine love for others, love inspired by God and modeled after Christ’s self-giving love for us. When God’s love fills us and transforms us, we will be enabled to lovingly seek the best for others, both for their good and for God’s glory. And, yes, we will also experience benefits, including the complete joy that comes from a life of love (John 15:9-11).

This is true in all seasons of life, including the third third. Yet, like the writer of Psalm 71, we may feel special urgency to seek the best for younger people. And we may also feel special joy when we are able to make a difference for good in their lives.